Personality Switch
by chibi-kuro-tenshi
Summary: Basicly the FB cast has their personality vice-versa which gets them into loads of trouble. The title says it all. Very ramdom stuff, sooo... Pleaze R&R! The first chapter is somewhat bizarre BUT it gets better! - -' UPDATED! Ch.6 for everyone!
1. Viceversa

Chapter 1: Vice – Versa  
  
It was New Years and most of the Souma's were invited to Shigure's house for New Years dinner. There was Hatsuharu, Kisa, Momiji, Hiro, Ritsu, and of course Tohru, Yuki, Kyou, and Shigure. Everyone was having a blast... well, kinda...  
  
Kyou: I'LL GET YOU FOR THAT YOU STUPID MOUSE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Yuki: You take too long in the washroom, baka neko! What were you doing in there anyway?!?!  
  
Kyou: .  
.  
.  
MIND YOUR OWN BUISNESS!!!  
  
Yuki: Funny you should mention that because there's a terribly bad aroma on the second floor.  
  
Kyou: .  
.  
.  
*temperature rising*  
  
Hiro: Oy, do you mind! You know it's very hard to watch Jerry Springer with all this noise! Kisa is already a mute she doesn't need to be deaf!  
  
Kyou: HOW DARE YOU TALK TO YOUR ELDERS THIS WAY!!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!!!  
  
Kyou drags Hiro upstairs to the washroom, stuffed his head in the toilet, aaaaaand................... ROUND AND ROUND IT GOES AND ROUND AND ROUND IT GOES!  
  
Hiro: ~gag~odor~gag~must breath~fresh air~or will~SUFFACATE!!!~  
  
Kyou: *grin* MUAHAHAHAHAHA!! Tell me, how many times must I remind you who I am!?!!!  
  
Hiro: 1753 times sir... *gag*... I lost track somewhere between the thousands... *cough*...  
  
Kyou: So! Now we know not to do it again right?  
  
Hiro: Yes sir... *gag*... *face turns green*... X_X  
  
Kyou: BWAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! 'DA POWA!!!!  
  
In the corner, you catch Hatsuharu leaning against the wall acting all cool and casual and Momiji jumping around and singing his Teru Teru Momiji song.  
  
White Haru: Please Momiji settle down.  
  
Momiji: "Yuhi you yamani Teru-Teru Momiji Kaeru yatokage ga Kon'nichi wa"  
  
Come on Haru-san! SING WITH ME! =^_^=  
  
White Haru: Please don't Momiji...  
  
Momiji: TOGETHER NOW! "Yuhi you yamani Teru-Teru Momiji Kaeru yatokage ga Kon'nichi wa,  
  
Koi no arai Tabu no ko umani"  
  
White Haru: . . . . . .  
  
Momiji: AGAIN! =^_^= "Yuhi you yamani Teru-Teru Momiji Kaeru yatokage ga Kon'nichi wa"  
  
Koi no arai Tabu n-- "  
  
Black Haru: SIT DOWN, SHUTUP OR I'LL BLOW YA ARMS AND LEGS OFF!  
  
Momiji: *Crying his eyes out* Wahhhhhhhhh! *Runs to Shigure* Haru's bullying me! *sniff*  
  
Shigure: How many times did I...  
  
White Haru: IT WASN'T ME!!!!!!!!  
  
Shigure: *rolls his eyes and walks in the kitchen* Tohru-kun, when are we gonna have dinner?  
  
Tohru: Patience is a virtue.  
  
Shigure: You said that last time when I had to line up for the washroom and ending up weting my pants....  
  
Kyou: AHAHAHAHAHA!!!! Seriously? That really happened? AHAHAHAHAHA!! Oh man, can't believe I missed it!! *tears formimg in his eyes* AHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!  
  
Shigure: GET OUT!  
  
Kyou: *slowly walks away with his tail between his legs*  
  
Shigure: So Tohru, you were saying.....  
  
Tohru: Futomaki, Hosomaki, Temaki, Uramaki, Kazarimaki, Chicken Teriyaki, and Miso soup.  
  
Shigure: *Drools all over his kimono and then bumps into Ritsu*  
  
Ritsu: *The knife he was carrying accidentally cuts the top of Shigure's hair off. * O_O;; GOMEN! GOMEN NASAI! GOMEN GOMEN GOMEN!!!!!!!!!!! I DIDN'T MEAN TO DO IT! I AM SO UNWORTHY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! LET ME SHAVE THE REST OF YOUR HAIR OFF SO IT.........  
  
Shigure: *already gone*  
  
~ * 20 minutes later * ~  
  
Everyone gathered, sat down, and waited for the food to arrive on the table.  
  
~ * 1 hour later * ~  
  
Tohru: It's ready!  
  
Kyou: WHAT TOOK YOU!?  
  
Tohru: Sorry, I... *shows everyone the huge bruise on her head*  
  
Everyone: O_O  
  
Yuki: What... happened!?  
  
Tohru: I am so sorry to make you all worried about me! I am so clumsy...  
  
Everyone: . . .  
  
Tohru: While I was cooking I dropped the pan on the floor, I stepped on the handle and it flew up in the air a-and... yeah... that's what happened...  
  
Shigure: *cracks up* HAHAHAHAHAHA HAHA HA HAHAHAHA!!!!  
  
~ * 15 minutes mater * ~  
  
The food was finally ready and the Souma's took a little bit of everything and then unexpectedly...  
  
Momiji: *spits out food* What kind of crap is this?!? I HAVE NEVER EATEN ANYTHING THAT TASTED SO DAMN BAD!!!  
  
Tohru: *GASP*  
  
Kyou: What are you talking about Momiji? This stuff is great! Don't you agree my love? *Blink blink blink*  
  
Yuki: I certainly do. *Shine*  
  
Everyone: O_O;  
  
Kisa: Urg! I am way too cool for you people so c ya boys and gurlz. *Goes upstairs*  
  
Hiro: OMG! Did she like just talk? Dude, that is like so totally weird!  
  
Everyone: O_o;  
  
White Haru: Hiro, please stop talking like that. It is very abnormal...  
  
Black Haru: *Gasp* HE'S TRANSEXUAL!!!  
  
White Haru: That was very mean of you! Take everything you said back!  
  
Black Haru: Not until the day, my brother drowns his fish!  
  
Everyone: -_-; (You can't drowned a fish and you have no brother) -_-;  
  
Shigure: Am I the only person who wasn't infected?  
  
Tohru: *thinking in her head* What is wrong with these people? They're so... ODD!  
  
Tohru: I think I'm gonna.... *runs out the front door*  
  
~ * End Flashback * ~  
  
Tohru: That's how it all started.  
  
Psychiatrist: InTeReStInG, very interesting. *Scribbles on his notepad* so tell me in the past did you abuse them in anyway?  
  
Tohru: Of course I didn't! I was their clean-up service, their garbage woman, their cook and maid.  
  
Psychiatrist: I see. So basically you did everything for them am I correct.  
  
Tohru: Well... yeah.  
  
Psychiatrist: What were you doing before this all happened?  
  
Tohru: I was cooking dinner.  
  
Psychiatrist: What were your ingredients?  
  
Tohru: Um... raw fish, cucumbers, avocados... oh there was also steroids and heroin Hiro stole from some of the hobos on the street. Eye of newt, cobwebs and...oh oh some dust bunnies I found under the couch. You gotta admit they really bring out the taste. =^_^=  
  
Psychiatrist: Well that explained a lot. Seems to me that your friends have their personality vice-versa.  
  
Tohru: Vice- versa?  
  
Psychiatrist: ... opposite.  
  
Tohru: Oh, so I'm not hallucinating?  
  
Psychiatrist: No you're not.  
  
Tohru: How can I find a cure for them?  
  
Psychiatrist: Well, for a start you can ask a doctor.  
  
Tohru: Thank-you very much Mr--  
  
Psychiatrist: --Bubbles...  
  
Tohru: Mr. Bubbles...that's a very strange—  
  
Psychiatrist: Yes I know. I was named after my great great grandfather which was named after my great grandfather which was named after my grandfather which was named after my father and is now passed on to me and named after my son and will be the named after my grandsons and great grandsons and so on and so forth...  
  
Tohru: Oh wow..... what a family history...... all of my ancestors and relatives were all burned down because the people found out they were witches....  
  
Mr. Bubbles: I see where all the genes come from.... -_-;;  
  
Tohru: Well anyways.... good-bye and thank-you Mr. Bubbles! *waves*  
  
~ * Tohru is now at Hotori's house. * ~  
  
Tohru: So do you have a cure for them?  
  
Hotori: First we have to confirm with Akito-san just to let him know.  
  
Tohru: *gulp*  
  
~ * Akito's house *~  
  
Hotori: *Knocks on the door*  
  
?: Yes?  
  
Hotori: Hello Mrs.... by the looks of you... wrinkly, old and ugly. Mrs. Wrinkly-Old-and-Ugly Woman we would like to speak with Akito-san.  
  
Wrinkly-Old-and-Ugly Woman: Come in come in.  
  
~ * Akito's room *~  
  
Hotori: Akito...  
  
Akito: *dances around like a lunatic* Lalalalala I'm crazy I'm crazy he he he he he. I like peanut butter with popcorn! Do you like peanut butter with popcorn? He he he! Lalalalala! * Slips on his kimono and falls into a hole in the ground* ... I'm OK.  
  
~ * 1 hour later * ~  
  
Akito: *Sitting on a wheelchair with a cast* WhY HaVe YoU CoMe HeRe ToDaY?  
  
In the background, you here crickets.  
  
Wrinkly-Old-and-Ugly Woman: They have already left sir.  
  
Akito: .........I'M GONNA KILL THEM!!! Hehehehehehehe. *Continues to dance around and crashes through the wall*  
  
~ * Shigure's House * ~  
  
Tohru: Brace yourself Hotori!  
  
Opens the door and finds Shigure tied up above a boiling hot cauldron, Momiji dancing around like an India, Hiro trying to put on make- up and lipstick, Ritsu sitting on the couch reading pretending nothing even happened, Kyou and Yuki flirting in the corner, Haru and his other half arguing whether they should put jelly on bread instead butter.  
  
Tohru & Hotori: O_O  
  
Shigure: HELP ME BEFORE HE-- *Plop! Falls into the boiling hot water*  
  
Momiji: MOUAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!  
  
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *  
  
PLEAZE REVIEW!!! ^_^ 


	2. The Gay Marriage

Chapter 2: The Gay Marriage  
  
11:00 AM in the morning... exhausted, tired. Another day with the strangely infected Souma's ... another day of misery. It was Hotori's idea that they should let Momiji, Kisa, Hiro, and Haru stay over. Tohru glanced around the room and saw Shigure reading the morning papers.  
  
Shigure: Ohayo Gozaimasu Tohru! You sure slept in.  
  
Tohru: How can you possibly be so...so... not tired!  
  
Shigure: *Cough cough* Sleeping pills *Cough cough* ... How about you? Did you have a good sleep?  
  
Tohru: YOU MEAN YOU DIDN'T HEAR THEM!?!?!  
  
Shigure: Here what?  
  
Tohru: Momiji was opening and slamming the door for the whole night!!! And then you can kinda hear Yuki and Kyou in the other room....... Doing stuff...........  
  
Shigure: O_O D-Doing stuff?  
  
Tohru: *nod nod* And Haru was talking to himself! There was also Hiro who was painting his wall magenta pink! *Panting like crazy*  
  
Shigure: What!?! I wanted it baby pink not magenta pink!!!!  
  
Tohru: -_o;;  
  
Shigure: Er...... you're probably hungry...... since no one had breakfast yet let's start an early lunch. Do you mind calling everyone down?  
  
Tohru: No thank-you! *slips away*  
  
Shigure: Ok then... HEY, PEOPLE!!! IT'S TIME FOR... *everyone stampedes downstairs and tramples on Shigure* ... Ah aw aw awawawawawawaeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee! .... My back! WATCH THE KIMONO!!! I JUST WASHED IT!!  
  
~ * 20 Minutes later when lunch was ready * ~  
  
Everyone: *droooooooooooooooool*  
  
Shigure: Time to eat! Say, has anyone seen Kisa lately?  
  
Kisa: I'm right here!  
  
Kisa was all dressed in black from head to toe. Acting all cool and gothic by chewing and blowing her bubble gum.  
  
Everyone: O_o .... *No comment*  
  
Hiro: OMG! I JUST LUV THAT BLACK OUTFIT OF YOURS, TOTALLY!!! *o* MIND IF I TRY IT ON FOR SIZE L8TER GURLFRIEND??  
  
Kisa: Hands off sheep boy!  
  
Tohru: Erm.......it's nice that you can finally--  
  
Kisa: Cut the crap and let me eat without choking!  
  
Tohru: *gasp* O_O k...................  
  
Kisa: Don't look so surprised.  
  
Tohru: .........  
  
Haru: *Chokes* OK, WHO PUT YARN IN MY NOODLES!?!?!?!  
  
Momiji: *Grin* Heheh.  
  
Haru: YOU LITTLE... *Puts his hands around Momiji's neck and tries to strangle him.*  
  
Everyone: -_-;;  
  
Hiro: I'm gonna like hit the rug to the mall with my girlfriends so like don't expect me home for dinner, totally! Sayonara minna-san! * Walks out the door and into a limousine with his "friends"*  
  
Everyone: ..............  
  
Shigure: You know, he makes us all look like we're hobos............ *stares at the limousine as it drives off*  
  
~ * 15 Minutes Later * ~  
  
Yuki: Ahem! Excuse me everyone! Me and Kyou would like to make an important announcement. Would you like to do the honors? *Blink blink*  
  
Kyou: Certainly, my love! *Shine* AHEM... Yuki and me are planning to get married in two days!!! ^_^ isn't that exciting?  
  
Everyone: ......................................... AHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Haru: *Wipes the tears off his eyes* that's funny guys, good one!  
  
Kyou & Yuki: ...............  
  
Haru: You mean you were serious.  
  
Yuki: No duh.  
  
Tohru: First you were mortal enemies now you're lovers! I'm so proud of you two. *Takes out her hanky and starts aiming her snot all over the couch and television. *  
  
Kisa: Don't you need to get everything planned first?  
  
Yuki & Kyou: ...  
  
Shigure: Who's gonna be the groom's best man?  
  
Yuki: Oh we decided it would be Akito-san!  
  
Everyone: O_O *takes a step back*  
  
Shigure: Wait, who's gonna pay for everything?  
  
Kyou: Don't worry about that. We got it all covered.  
  
Momiji & Kisa: I can't believe I'm attending a gay marriage! This is so humiliating!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *Runs into the closet and starts swearing. *  
  
~ * The Next Day * ~  
  
Everyone spent hours on planning what kind of cake they should get, suits, dresses, limousine, guesses, and the location of Yuki and Kyou's marriage.  
  
Shigure: Last chance. Are you POSSITIVE that you want to get married and become gay?  
  
Yuki & Kyou: YES!!!!  
  
~ * The Day of the Gay Marriage * ~  
  
Relatives after relatives arrived to the church. Some were disgusted by the idea that Yuki and Kyou were getting married others seemed happy and proud that they were getting along so well... TOO well. The limousine arrived. The driver opened the door and out came rolling a red carpet. Yuki stepped out of the car; he was wearing a white tuxedo. Yuki walked down the aisle with his arms around Shigure's. At this point, the organ is to be played and behind Yuki and Shigure were the two flower girls, Hiro and Kisa.  
  
Kisa: This is stupid!  
  
Hiro: Lalala. "I love you, you love me, let's all--  
  
Kisa: --'KILL BARNEY, YES I KNOW, NOW WOULD YOU PLEASE SHUT UP!!!  
  
When everyone arrived to the front they were already arranged where they were standing. Along the left side of the aisle were Kisa, Hiro, Momiji, Ritsu and Haru. Along the right were Hatori, Ayame, Shigure, the Best Man Akito, and of course the Groom's Kyou and Yuki. The ceremony will now begin.  
  
Priest: We are all gathered here to....  
  
Akito: Lalalalala! I can fly! Look at me! Look at me mommy! Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!! I like your dress. Do you like my dress? Lalalallalalalala! I....  
  
Priest: GUARDS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! We cannot continue with this... this interference!!! Take this fool to the Mental Hospital, NOW!  
  
Akito: I LOVE YOU!!  
  
Akito's mother: That's the sweetest thing my son has ever said ever since he was born *sniff*  
  
Everyone: *silence*  
  
Priest: Now where were we? Ah yes... ahem, as I was saying. We are all gathered here to celebrate the marriage of Yuki and Kyou. We all know that...  
  
Black Haru: Hurry up old man! I have a birthday party to attend to! Can't you see you just wasted five minutes of my precious lifetime!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! SPEED-IT-UP!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Priest: Why I have not been so offended in my entire life! You are a disgrace upon the great gods! I clams justice!  
  
Yuki: Um... not to be rude or anything but you are a bit slow. Can you just get on the part where we say 'I do'?  
  
Priest: You people have no loyalty to the gods! You will pay!  
  
Kyou: *Snaps his finger then 50 personal guards come in* Take him away.  
  
Priest: The gods will surely punish thy who deceive him. Curse you! Curse you all! Let the darkness swallow you! CURSE YOUUUUUUUUUUUUU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
~ * 15 Minutes Later * ~  
  
Priest #2: All those who oppose to this marriage speak now or forever hold your peace!  
  
?: I DO!  
  
Everyone turn their heads around to locate where they had heard that voice. Kagura was panting as she walked up front.  
  
Kagura: I do...... because....... KYOU'S MINE HE SHOULD MARRY ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *Starts beating up Kyou*  
  
Priest #2: STOP! GUARDS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Hundreds of guards comes in and takes Kagura away.  
  
Kagura: You haven't seen the last of meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee! *Gives Yuki black eye*  
  
Priest: *sigh* there goes another one. Ahem, Yuki, do you take Kyou and become his husband?  
  
Yuki: I Do  
  
Priest: *mumbles* you better. Now, um do you Kyou take Yuki and become his husband?  
  
Kyou: Tse! What do you think I'm here for?  
  
Priest: You are now gay—I mean lesbians—I mean--oh whatever, do the kissing so I can do my daily yoga........  
  
Kyou & Yuki: ~ *. : BuSy : . * ~  
  
Everyone: ~ * Waiting * ~  
  
~ * 5 minutes later * ~  
  
Kyou & Yuki: ~ * Finished * ~  
  
The crowd gave a round of applause as Yuki and Kyou walked down the red carpet and onto the limousine.  
  
Tohru: What happened to the rings?  
  
Shigure: It's over! Who cares!  
  
~ * The Next Day * ~  
  
Shigure goes to the bank to deposit some money and...  
  
Shigure: WHAT!?! $0.00!?!?!?!?!?!?!!  
  
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *  
  
Pleaze review! ^_^ P.S : thanu to those who reviewed my first chap! ^_~ 


	3. The Prince Loses his Pride

Chapter 3: The Prince Loses his Pride  
  
There was a knock on the door early in the morning. It was Hotori.  
  
Hotori: I think it is best if Yuki and Kyou stayed home instead of going to school today...... after what happened.......  
  
Shigure: Yeah...... think about what all the girls would think of Yuki...... POOR YUKI IS GOING TO LOSE HIS PRINCEMENSHIP TO SOME NERD!!!!!!! WE'RE ALL GONNA DIEEEE!!!!!!!  
  
Hotori: There there Shigure, some things are for the best. They'll go back to school as soon as I find a cure.  
  
Shigure: How's Akito?  
  
Hotori: Er.......not doing well..... the last time a saw him was in the Mental Hospital..... the nurses had to put him in a separate room because he kept pulling everyone's pants down and sniffing their butt..........!  
  
Shigure: Oo Poor guy, always so far from civilization...tsk tsk tsk.........  
  
Flashback   
  
Akito: YOU CAN'T KEEP ME BARRICATED IN THIS ROOM FOREVER!!! ONE DAY YOU'LL NEED ME TO OPENING YOUR PICKLE JAR AND THE POWERPUFF GIRLS WON'T BE THERE TO SAVE YOU!!!!! Sings opening song . : Sugar, spice, and everything nice! These were the ingredients to create the perfect little girls, but Dr. Hotori accidentally added.... CHEMICAL X!! BOOM Thus, the Powerpuff Girls were born! Using their ultra super powers Blossom, Bubbles, Buttercupp, and Akito-sama has dedicated their lives in fighting the forces of evil!!!! DUN DUN DUN!!!! : .   
  
All: slowly backs away  
  
End Flashback   
  
Shigure: Does he honestly believe that he can become a Powerpuff Girl??  
  
When everyone was eating breakfast   
  
Momiji: spits Ah gross! There's a dead fish floating in my miso soup! Gives Haru a death glare  
  
Haru: grin  
  
Shigure: Ah, Kyou, Yuki, you two won't be going to school this morning.  
  
Yuki: Nani.....how come?  
  
Shigure: Well...... because—  
  
Kyou: YEAH!!! NO SCHOOL! BACK UPSTAIRS YUKI!!! blink blink  
  
Yuki: giggle giggle  
  
Everyone: OO  
  
Tohru: Everyone.....we will pretend we hear absolutely nothing...........  
  
5 minutes later   
  
Shigure: Um...it's not working.....  
  
Hiro: I need barf bag.....  
  
At school   
  
It felt very different without walking with Yuki and Kyou. While walking to her locker Tohru could hear a group of girls talking.  
  
?: The Prince didn't come to school today! gasp  
  
?: Maybe he's sick.  
  
?: No, sick or not he never misses a day of school.  
  
?: I wonder what happened.  
  
?: I've been hearing rumors that The Prince got married during the weekend!  
  
?: Are you serious?!?  
  
?: Yeah, to his cousin too!!! I heard the teachers say that they might even have to find a new prince!!!  
  
?: WHAT!?!?! BUT—  
  
BELL RINGS   
  
When Tohru arrived to class she could see The Yuki Fan Club girls..... probably plotting another scheme.  
  
Fan Club Girl: No matter what they say, WE WILL ALWAYS LOVE YUKI-KUN! We will never betray him, even if.......EVEN IF IT MEANS THAT HE'S GAY!! . : YuKi : .   
  
Uotani: Wow......look at them, they're so dedicated it's almost scary.  
  
Tohru: nod nod  
  
Hana: Why did Yuki not attend school today?  
  
Tohru: He.....uh........had to.......uh........visit his grandmother! And uh.......well......because she was uh...in a COMA!  
  
Hanajime: Really?  
  
Tohru: goosebumps rising Y-YEAH! 00'''''  
  
Hanajime: I never knew Yuki had a grandmother...........  
  
Tohru: ............ OO;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;  
  
Uotani: Give it a rest Hana! The Prince needs to visit his grandmother, big deal!  
  
Hanajime: Your only saying that cause your grandmothers are already dead.  
  
Uotani: ;; yeah  
  
After school   
  
Tohru: Eh, Momiji, where's Haru?  
  
Momiji: He has detention. The idiot couldn't stop talking to himself during class.  
  
Tohru: Oo;;;;  
  
Shigure's House   
  
While walking Tohru and Momiji could see Shigure sitting on a large rock in front of the house.  
  
Momiji: Oy what are you doing? I thought you OWN the house.  
  
Shigure: Think happy thoughts, think happy thoughts, THINK HAPPY THOUGHTS!!!  
  
Tohru & Momiji: Oo;;  
  
Shigure: No matter what you say I am not going back in there!  
  
Momiji: The Editor's here isn't she?  
  
Shigure: Think happy thoughts, think happy thoughts, it's ok just think happy thoughts!  
  
Momiji: Erm....yeah you do dat...  
  
Tohru: Oh whatever, c'mon. Opens door and walks inside everything seems normal to me. walks up the stairs stops and hears weird sounds  
  
Momiji: What's wrong?  
  
Tohru: Can you hear it?  
  
Momiji: listens carefully Oh it's Yuki and Kyou...................IN THE BATHTUB!?!?!?!?!?!?! OO  
  
You hear very wrong sounds  
  
Tohru & Momiji: runs out of the house Thinks happy thoughts, think happy thoughts, THINK HAPPY THOUGHTS!!!  
  
9:00 PM   
  
Hotori: walks by What are you all doing?  
  
Shigure, Tohru, Momiji: THINK HAPPY THOUGHTS, THINK HAPPY THOUGHTS, THINK HAPPY THOUGHTS!!!!!!!  
  
Kind of a short chapter today, but oh well. Ja ne! 


	4. Knock Him Out!

Chapter 4: Knock Him Out!  
  
Shigure: Lalalalalalalala! Visitors! Visitors! La lalala la! *Starts cleaning the house*  
  
Momiji & Kisa: WHAT!?! WE HAVE PEOPLE COMING OVER?!?!  
  
Shigure: It's Ayame and Kagura! =^_^=  
  
Momiji: Exceeellent...*grin* MUAHAHAHAHAHHA!!! Dude, I'm so evil. ^_^  
  
Kisa: #&^@^&%$%!#*&^@#%!*#^$^%*@^!!!!!!!!!! I have to get out of here before the freaks arrive!!! RUN AWAAAAAAYYYY!!!  
  
Yuki: *walks down the stairs* Ayame's coming over?  
  
Ayame: *opens door unexpectedly* YUUUUUUKIIIIIIII!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! LITTLE BROTHER!!! I AM HERE FOR YOOOUUUUUUUU!!!!!!!!!!!! *shine*  
  
Yuki: AAYAAME-SAMA!!!!!!  
  
Ayame & Yuki: *hug hug*  
  
Tohru: Ok........ this is different...........  
  
Shigure: --and scary.........  
  
Kagura: *peers behind the door* Is...is Kyou-kun...there? *puppy dog face*  
  
Tohru: Ka-kagura! O_O He's..... *points*  
  
Kagura: *shine* KYOUU-KUUN! *slow motion running with twirls and spins *  
  
Kyou: *slowly turns his head around*  
  
Kagura: Kyou......... I.......... I WILL KILL YOU!!! YOU PROMISED YOU'D MARRY ME!!! NOT THAT INSIGNIFACANT GAY MOUSE!!!!!!!! *starts strangling Kyou*  
  
Kyou: X_x  
  
Kagura: Kyou......Kyou-kun? *sniff* OH WHO HAS DONE THIS TO YOU??? *sob*  
  
Everyone: O_o  
  
~ * The Hospital * ~  
  
Kyou: *wakes up from a 10 days coma* Where am I?  
  
Kagura: Kyou-kun! *shine* Oh Kyou-kun! Are you alright? It's ok now, I have taken revenge on the man who has done this to you! *death glares at Shigure at the corner of the room*  
  
Shigure: *sitting on a wheelchair with a cast* *blood and bruises* But I didn't do anything..... *sob*  
  
Yuki: *runs towards Kyou in slow motion* Kyou..... oh how I've missed you during these pass ten days! Look, I even bought flowers for you! (you see tons of piles of flowers surrounding Kyou's bed) I have never left your side Kyou-sama! *smiles* (yellow teeth and bad breath)  
  
Kyou: O_O; (nearly faints)  
  
Momiji: When he said he never left Kyou's side, I didn't think that he'd stayed at the hospital for the whole week -_-;;  
  
Yuki: *kissy kissy hug hug*  
  
Kyou: O_O  
  
Yuki: *kissy kissy hug hug*  
  
Kyou: O_O  
  
Yuki: Kissy kissy--  
  
Kyou: --GET OFF OF ME YOU STINK'N RAT!!!  
  
Kisa: *emotionless muttering* He's back.  
  
Momiji: *emotionless muttering* He will be one of us.  
  
Kisa: *emotionless muttering* He will soon join the dark side once again.  
  
Momiji: eeexceleentt..  
  
Everyone: O_o er...  
  
Yuki: But Kyou—  
  
Kyou: AHHH!!!! GERMS GERMS!!! YUKI GERMS!!!! AHHHH!!! I'M MELTING!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Haru: Clean clear and under control!! HIY-YA!! *takes fire extinguisher and sprays it all over Kyou*  
  
Yuki: Oh Kyou.....*hug hug*  
  
Kyou: GO $c&EW YOURSELF TO HELL YOU PERVERTED STINKER!!!!!!!!! *kicks Yuki out the window*  
  
Everyone: O_O  
  
Tohru: You... you kicked your husband out the window!?!?!?!?!!!  
  
Everyone: *gasp*  
  
Kyou: Haru, decontaminate me!  
  
Haru: Noo problem! Clean clear and under control! *Spray spray*  
  
Kyou: BWAHAHAHA!!!!!! YUKI HAS LOST HIS TITLE!!! THIS PROVES I AM MORE SUPEREIOR THAN THE MOUSE!!!!!!!!! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!  
  
Shigure: HE'S BACK TO NORMAL!! ^_^ HE'S BACK TO NORMAL! ^_^ *tries to reach for the phone while sitting on his wheelchair* MUST—CALL---HOTORI!!!  
  
Hotori: *cough* shigure *cough cough*  
  
Shigure: oh there you are! Look look! Kyou has been disinfected!!  
  
Hotori: Yes I can see that *looks at Kyou trying to run away from Kagura's deathly hugs*  
  
Shigure: We've been blessed by god! *looks up at the ceiling light*  
  
Hotori: Well actually.....no. From my calculation Kyou has been "de-vice- versaed".  
  
Shigure: Is that even a word?  
  
Hotori: Shuddup! From my calculations Kyou has been "de-vice-versaed"—  
  
Shigure: --and in plain English that means......  
  
Hotori: ......normal.......  
  
Everyone: YAY!! ^O^ ~* NO MORE GAYNESS *~  
  
Tohru: Shouldn't someone see if Yuki's alright. I mean, he did fall from a 50 story building..... with very sharp rocks at the bottom........  
  
Momiji: *looks out the window* Is that him? *squints eye*  
  
Kisa: *squints eye* I see .... legs.....arms......head.......body...... Ah man, that guy's been disjointed... tsk tsk tsk.  
  
Momiji: Kyou really took a beating out of him...  
  
Kisa: It's more like a ripping out of him..... tsk tsk tsk.  
  
Kyou: I WIN! MUAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!! =^_^=  
  
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *  
  
Poor poor Yuki........oh well, please review!!! ^_^ 


	5. Yuki's Funeral

Chapter 5: Yuki's Funeral  
  
All the Souma's, relatives, family members, friends, Yuki Fan Club Gurls were gathered around Yuki's grave. All were dressed in black. All hearts were damped on this rainy evening. All in grief...  
  
Hotori: Today is a very sad day for all of us. On Friday September 13, Yuki Souma was killed in an acci—  
  
?: *whispers in Hotori's ear and hands him a paper* --Here's the revised version.  
  
Hotori: Oh ok thanks. Ahem. Sorry, Yuki Souma was in fact "murdered" by—  
  
Everyone: *turns around and death glares at Kyou*  
  
Kyou: What? You all knew it would happen someday. *shrugs in a very proud way*  
  
Hotori: Ahem. Yuki Souma was murdered by his "husband" Kyou Souma.  
  
Kyou: WHAT THE HELL!?!?!!?!? HUSBAND!?!?! HEY, ARE YOU CALLING ME GAY???  
  
Hotori: ........yes..........  
  
Kyou: Oh, ok.......  
  
Hotori: Yuki put up a good fight against Kyou--  
  
Kyou: --WHAT?!?! HE WASN'T EVEN FIGHTING AT ALL!!!!!!  
  
Yuki Fan Club Gurlz: *cracks Kyou's neck* Say another word and we'll break your spine!!!!!!!!!  
  
Kyou: X_x  
  
Hotori: --but in the end Yuki lost and was kicked out the window that then hit rock bottom.... His body was scattered to many pieces but still we managed to recover them all. *opens the white coffin with Yuki's scattered body like a six piece puzzle*  
  
Everyone: eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeewwwww (they see blood all over and inside the coffin)  
  
Kyou: Nice.  
  
Hotori: Ew.... Sorry, we haven't had time to clean up his body yet..... *glance* *shudders* You see nothing folks! Move away move away! *sweat drop*  
  
Hotori: *continues speech* we will always remember Yuki Souma in our hearts. You may all say your last words to Yuki before we bury him..........C'mon people, line up in a straight line, now! Hut hut hut!  
  
White Haru: *sigh* I never knew it would all come down to this....... You've been a great friend, almost like a brother too...... take this. *takes off his necklace and places it inside the coffin* Take this to the other side so you will always remember me.......amen.  
  
Black Haru: FUCK U!  
  
White Haru: Dear lord did I just say that!??? O_O  
  
Hotori: Ok move along! Next! C'mon, don't hold up the line people we still have 2 kilometers to go!  
  
Kisa: Well..... to tell you the truth, I really don't know what to say......well.... I just hope you don't get eaten by the firey demons when you get down there.... amen.  
  
Hotori: Next!  
  
Momiji: Sucker......... and you didn't even live to find out who stole your eye cream. heh heh heh.............  
  
Hotori: Momiji! Say something nice!  
  
Momiji: *sigh* Fine........ I'm doing this just to make you laugh so you won't come back to haunt me..... *sits on a fart bomb* .amen.  
  
Everyone: O_o ok..............  
  
Hotori: Next!  
  
Ayame: Oh dear little brother, what will I do without you? You were my inspiration to make those dresses and open my new shop.... But now...but now..... I have no choice but to close the shop forever........*sob sob* but before you go I shall give you this, *hold up a white dress* I hope that when you reach heaven you will wear this. I luv u lil bro....amen.  
  
White Haru: He's gonna sacrifice his shop for his little brother..... that's so sweet....... Black Haru: what an idiot....  
  
Hotori: Next!  
  
Hiro: Sorry I was like a bit late to hear the lecture, me and my like friendz had to go to the mall to like buy something black to wear when I like come here. I think I look kinda fat in this dress. What do you think? (Oh woops, forgot your eyes got poked out). Anyways.... I bought you a year supply of make-up! Totally! =^_^= Use it well, I spent my entire wallet on it. Yeah, you see this lipstick, use it on like bright sunny days cause then it would really bring out your beauty and you can really dig some hot guys. =^_^= Oh, and you see this? Yeah, you have to---  
  
Hotori: That's enough from you Hiro let someone else have a turn, next!  
  
Ritsu: I haven't been seeing you very lately, I hope you're okay with that. I bought this book, it teaches you how to think in a very positive attitude....*sigh* it changed my life forever.... I want you to have it, so then when you face some tough muscled angels you can reason with them and talk them through any problems......amen......  
  
Hotori: How lame..... Ok, next!  
  
Kagura: There are many things that this world can't give us, but I thank you for giving me back Kyou-kun. I also hope that when you get to the other side you won't come back to kill Kyou-kun and claim him for yourself. Amen.  
  
Hotori: No need to be so harsh Kagura.......next!  
  
Shigure: *sigh* So young so innocent, tsk tsk tsk. Someone will be taking your place as Prince at your school now that you are gone. But I'm sure you'll do very well in heaven school. I thank you for sacrificing yourself to stop the schoolgirls from invading my house. Amen.  
  
Hotori: Next!  
  
Tohru: Yuki.....i'll....i'll miss you *sob sob* *runs off*  
  
Hotori: That was fast.......next!  
  
Yuki Fan Club Gurls: Yuki...Yuki....you have always given as hope and love... but why.... Why do you have to leave? *sob* Don't worry Yuki-kun, we will never let anyone take your place as The Prince. We will do everything we can for you, because....... ~ . : * We Luv Yuki! * : . ~  
  
Hotori: I don't understand how those girls got through security but w/e.... next!  
  
Kyou: AHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!! I TOLD YOU THAT I'D DEFEAT YOU!!!!!! AND LOOK AT YOU NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!!!!!! THAT'S RIGHT, I BEAT YOU! SO SEE YOU IN HELL YUKI!!!!! MUAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Hotori: You are so cold-hearted.........next!  
  
Akito: hehehe! *poke poke* ooooooooooooooooo! It's squishy! *poke poke poke poke* How fun this is! =^_^= *poke poke* Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeewwwwwww, you gave me your blood! *taste* ooooooooooooooooo! Taste like white glue! =^_^= *poke poke poke poke* *poke poke* *poke poke*  
  
Hotori: Er.....maybe you shouldn't......  
  
Akito: (You hear a crack) AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!! MY FINGER!!!!!!!! HE BROKE MY FINGER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! IT BUUURRNNS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'M DYING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! X_x  
  
Everyone: O_o  
  
Hotori: Ok then.......moving along now..............  
  
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *  
  
Well, that's Yuki's Feneral! I don't think the Yuki Fans like this chap much but I'm planning to make a chap about Yuki's resurrection! =^_^= (damn, just spoiled it! -) Don't forget to REVIEW!!! ^ ^ 


	6. The Thing Is Stolen!

Chapter 6: "The Thing" is Stolen!!!  
  
Author's Note: I haven't updated in soooo long!!! HW just keeps on coming.... Anyways here's Chapter 6 for everyone! =^_^=  
  
It was unusually quiet today... too quiet. Since Yuki's gone no one has been talking all morning.  
  
Tohru: Um... Kyou.....  
  
Kyou: What?  
  
Tohru: Are you sure you don't want to come to the cemetery with us?  
  
Hotori: You can at leased show some respect for the dead.  
  
Kyou: You think I'm gonna sit there patiently prying for the dead rat!?!? HE SHOULD BE BOWING BEFORE MY KNEES!!!! Besides, it's not my fault that he was gender confused and got kicked out the window for his perviness. He should have wished for Wings on New Years like I did! See! Urg, urg! Dammit! Why won't they come out!!!???!?! _ URG URG!!! COME OUT WINGS!!!! Nooooooo, don't fail me now!!! WINGS, COME BAAAAAAAAAAACK!!!!  
  
Everyone: O_o Er ...  
  
Shigure: If you keep forcing your "Wings" to come out your gonna flex your backbones and end up in the hospital again...  
  
Hotori: and this time you'll HAVE to pay...  
  
Kyou: Dammit! Why won't they come out!?!?!!! WINGS!! COME....OUT!!!! _  
  
White Haru: There there Kyou... don't push yourself that hard.... They'll come back...you just have to wait....  
  
Black Haru: DON'T GIVE UP!!! DO EVERYTHING YOU CAN TO GET YOUR WINGS BACK!!!! YES, THAT'S RIGHT, HAVE THE FREE DESIRE TO KILL!!!!!!! KILL TO GET YOUR WINGS BACK!!!!!! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Kyou: Make up your mind already!!!  
  
When the Soama's came back from the cemetery, they find Kyou lying half dead on the roof.  
  
Shigure: What'd I tell ya...  
  
~ * Night time * ~  
  
Kisa and Momiji were dressed in black as they sneaked out of Shigure's house and into the night...  
  
Kisa: Ok, first stop... The Bank!  
  
Momiji: noooooo..... first stop, the washrooooom!  
  
Kisa: Why didn't you go before we left the house?!  
  
Momiji: beccaaauuuusse.....  
  
Kisa: *sigh* Go behind a bush! *point*  
  
Momiji: Eeeeeewww... you want me to pee on a bush?? It's not nutritious for them... considering I have diarrhea bladder issues....  
  
Kisa: O_o ..... ok....either that or you do it on a lamp post!  
  
Momiji: Hmf! Fine, I'll take the lamp post... at least it's warmer! =^_^=  
  
Kisa: Oh god....  
  
~ * Tinkle twinkle DOOOO PLOOP PLOP * ~  
  
Kisa: Eeew, nasty... ~   
  
Momiji: BETTER! =^_^=  
  
Kisa: *glance at lamp post* *shudder* Why is your poo purple?  
  
Momiji: Sorry, too many Wonka candies....  
  
Kisa: *shudder shudder*  
  
Momiji: I think this robber outfit is too revealing... how 'bout you?  
  
Kisa: Sell it to Hiro... you'd make a prophet.  
  
Momiji: That's brilliant! *o*  
  
Kisa: er...  
  
~ * The Bank * ~  
  
Kisa: Remember the plan. First, we get through security. Second, we open the valve, get "The Thing" and then....... WE RUN!  
  
Momiji: eeeexceeleent...... what's Number One again???  
  
Kisa: Why'd I drag you with me? Why? Why? Why?!??  
  
Momiji: because if you didn't I'd tell Hiro to re-decorate your room!!!!  
  
Kisa: right...  
  
Kisa and Momiji used all the Jackie Chan's latest "Jumping on Walls Trick" to move through security.  
  
Momiji: That was fun! =^_^= Let's do it again!  
  
Kisa: NO!  
  
~ * 5 minutes Later * ~  
  
Kisa: I need full concentration to open this lock...... * turn turn turn CLICK!* Done!  
  
With gloves Kisa carefully takes The Golden Box out and opens the lid. (In the background you hear vocalists)  
  
Momiji: AAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!! IT BLINDS!!!!! IT BLINDS WITH INCREDIBLE LIGHT!!!!!! IT BUUUURRNNNSSS USS!!!!!!! IT BUURNSS US MY PRECIOUSSSSS!!! X_X  
  
Kisa: er..  
  
Momiji: I'MM DYYYIING!!!!!!!!!  
  
Kisa: O_o you can stop now....  
  
Momiji: *is back to normal* Ah yes... "The Thing"..... MUAHAHAHA!!!! Our mission is complete!  
  
Kisa: and without "The Thing" He cannot survive.... *grin*  
  
Momiji: Eeexcceeleentt...  
  
Kisa: Let's go!  
  
Momiji: Noooo....  
  
Kisa: WHAT NOW!!??  
  
Momiji: The washroooooom!!!  
  
Kisa: TOO BAD!  
  
~ * The Next Day * ~  
  
Akito goes to the bank to check on "The Thing".  
  
Akito: NNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!! "The Thing"!!!!! WHERE HAVE YOU GONE!!??????!!????? I'VE BEEN BANK ROBBED!!!!!!!!!!! NNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO *breathe* oOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!  
  
~ * Shigure's House * ~  
  
///Phone rings  
  
Shigure: Shigure speaking! =^_^= ------------------------------- O_O *runs into living room* EVERYONE!!!! "THE THING" HAS BEEN STOLEN!!!!!  
  
Everyone: *GASP*  
  
~ * The Souma Main House * ~  
  
Everyone knelt on the floor facing the front of the room as Akito walked in and sat on his almighty chair.  
  
Akito: GABOOGOBABABUNAIMOOUTAFUUHUIPOOPOOSHITAKIMUSHROOM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! SUSHI!?!?!?!!!BALABABLALALABALA!! POOPOO?????? POOPOOSHITAKIMUSHROOM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!?????????????? BUGABUGABUGA!!!! NANANANABARBIE??? *sob sob* BADABADAGUIJIGUJIGOOOO!!!!!!! YU-GI-OH!!??? BOOMBOOM!!!!!!!? *sob sob* BOOGABOOOGASETOKAIBA!!!! YUGI????!!! *sob sob* BAFAFDADADADTEAUGLY!!!! MENOLIKEYYOU!!!!!!!! *sob sob* POKEMON!!!! GABOOBOOKABOOM!!!???? PIKACHUBADADADAHAMTARO!!!!!  
  
Everyone: O_O...........come again?  
  
Akito: sjiojwklajsjdoqjoikadk!!!  
  
Hotori: Sir, you're not making any sense....  
  
Akito: *sigh* "THE THING" HAS BEEN STOLEN!!!  
  
All: *GASP*  
  
Akito: LAST NIGHT THE SAFETY VAULT WAS OPENED AND SOMEONE TOOK "My pet Rock".  
  
Tohru: "The Thing" was a BLODDY ROCK??!?? O_o  
  
Akito: That's "Mr. Babu" for your information! Hmf! He has a name you know!  
  
Tohru: I can't believe this. T_T  
  
Shigure: Wait wait wait. Last I saw your pet rock was called "Akito Jr.". What happened there???  
  
Akito: Well... Akito Jr. made babies with Ms. Toilette so I named one of them Mr. Babu—  
  
Momiji: --Ms. Toilette?  
  
Akito: Oh that. Yeah, I found her swimming in my toilet =^_^=  
  
Kisa: Rocks can't swim!  
  
Akito: Ms. Toilette wasn't a Rock! She was a Goldfish!  
  
Kyou: What the hell?!!? Akito Jr. the Rock made-out with Ms. Toilette the Goldfish??!!!??!?!??!!  
  
Akito: Correct! =^_^=  
  
Shigure: And they made fish/rock babies!!??  
  
Akito: Correct! =^_^=  
  
Kyou: What the fu*k!?????!!!?!?!?!  
  
Haru: Genetically speaking that doesn't make sense....  
  
Hiro: This is so wrong...  
  
Hotori: um...sir... I think we're moving off topic... shall we continue from the "vault"?  
  
Akito: lets...ahem...WHO???? WHO WOULD DO SUCH A THING TO KIDNAP MR. BABU!?!?!?!? *sob sob* WHO!?!?!?! SPEAK NOW!!!!!!!!  
  
Kyou: Hey! Are you accusing us of stealing your pet rock!!!?!?!?!  
  
Akito: As a matter of fact I am! *holds up two strands of hair*  
  
Tohru: Whdat?  
  
Akito: This is something our kidnapper left behind! This is the hair from a Tiger and a Rabbit! A.k.a. Kisa and Momiji!!!!  
  
All: *GASP*  
  
Kisa: damn....  
  
Momiji: Noooooo!!!! I'm too young to go to jail!!!! Noooooooooo!!!!!!  
  
Akito: You see! Our kidnapper has spoken! Where have you taken Mr. Babu???  
  
Kisa: Up your @$$ and around the corner.  
  
Akito: Reealy??  
  
Kisa: yes.  
  
Akito: Must use washroom. Be right back.  
  
~ * Downtown Prison * ~  
  
Kisa and Momiji were walked to their cellar as the Souma's watched them with despair.  
  
Kisa: Damn..... stupid DNA hairs!  
  
Momiji: I'm too young to be in jail!!!! *sob sob* Why me??  
  
Kisa: Dammit! Why do you have to loose so many hairs!!!  
  
Momiji: ME!? They found yours too! You should stop shedding!  
  
Kisa: I don't shed......Ayame does.......  
  
Ayame: I heard that!  
  
Shigure: *sigh* Kisa.....Momiji.....you shouldn't have stolen Akito's rock. None of this wouldn't have happened.....  
  
Momiji: Can't you just bail us out?!  
  
Shigure: Too late for that... Yuki and Kyou used all the money from my account for their gay wedding.... *sob sob*  
  
Kisa: T_T  
  
Shigure: Anywayz........ WHERE DID YOU HIDE THE BLOODY ROCK!!?!?!?!  
  
Kisa: SoMeWhErE..  
  
Shigure: Ooohh... playing hide-and-go-seek now are we???  
  
Kisa: yes...  
  
Shigure: Oh I'm so good at this game!! =^_^= I'll tell you when I find it! Bye bye!! =^_^=  
  
Momiji: BAILMEOUT! BAILMEOUT! BAILMEOUT!  
  
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *  
  
Yuki's dead, Kisa and Momiji is in jail, what will happen next? Dun dun dun....... 


End file.
